


leave but don't leave me

by becauseimclever



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, M/M, but doesnt, stiles ruins everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-22
Updated: 2013-07-22
Packaged: 2017-12-21 01:38:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/894270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/becauseimclever/pseuds/becauseimclever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 times Stiles ruined Derek's dates and one time Derek fixed everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	leave but don't leave me

There comes a time in Derek's life when something good happens.  
Today is not that day. 

He was waiting in her classroom yet again. This time bearing a small bundle of flowers and confidence.

She walked in, nervously fluttering around as always. She jumped when she sees him but smiled tentatively once she realized who crept up on her. Then she observed the bundle, cocked her head and her smile grew.

"Are those for me?" She inquired as she moved closer. Derek couldn't help but smile in return.  
"I stole them from Scott's yard," Derek blurted. Eyes widening and brows rising, Jennifer took the flowers and thanked him, although somewhat cautiously.

"While I'm glad you're here, can I ask why?" She was still nervous, not moving very much as if afraid any movement would set him off.

"Not that you need a reason of course! It's just, I don't know, I figured you'd need time to, um, mourn?"  
She cringed, afraid of saying the wrong thing. Derek took a deep breath, reminded of his claws and the feeling of them buried in Boyd's stomach.  
"It's over now," he said, he hopes with finality, but it most likely came across as a sorrowful grimace, "and I was just wondering if, since now we can, you would like to-" he was cut off by the door slamming open and a flailing mess of limbs flying into the room. His nostrils flared and his jaw clenched. _Stiles._

"Heyyyy Ms. Blake, how's it going," the kid untangled the strap of his bag and paid no attention to Derek as he charged his way in the classroom.

"Oh um, okay. Is there something you needed, Stiles?" Jennifer turned her attention fully to Stiles. While Derek would normally commend her professionalism, he was livid about the kid’s timing.

"Well, you see, you were talking about the symbolism of Piggy's glasses in class today and I was thinking about connecting that with Sam Winchester and his ability to kill everyone he sleeps with. I know it's far-fetched but I have very solid evidence," he rambled as he drew her over to one of the desks, pulling out multiple papers and pens, with the clear intention of staying a while. Jennifer, in turn, looked quite concerned for his sanity. She turned back to Derek and he perked up.

"Rain check?" She asked him and he deflated slightly but says of course, no problem, they'll talk soon.

But as he was walking out the room, Stiles cheerfully called out, "Bye Derek!" and smirked over Jennifer's shoulder.

Derek decided to be a good person and not strangle him.

But no one can blame him for putting a dead fish under the front seat of the kid's Jeep.

 

Derek managed to find Jen one afternoon and rushed to ask her to see Monsters University with him, not in fear of Stiles popping up, though. He was just on a tight schedule, was all. 

Three hours later, he was seated in Beacon Hills Cinema, satisfying his timeless hunger for Junior Mints while Jen bought the drinks.

They found seats in the middle, Jen watching the previews avidly, and once in a while speaking in a hushed voice about the cinematography or casting. Derek grunted occasionally while she praised the screenwriters.

"We should see that one next time," she whispered and while his heart fluttered at the idea of a next time, the movie she was referring to was Smurfs 2. By the time the movie actually started, the junior mints had disappeared and half of his Pepsi was gone. About five minutes in, the doors opened to reveal two teenagers holding hands. It took a second for him to recognize the Argent girl, but Scott was nowhere in sight. Of course, the doors opened one more time when Allison and the boy were seated, this time revealing a boy with shaggy hair and another with a loud voice and wild hands.

"I told you she's not in here, man. Can we just go? The Jeep doesn't smell too bad anymore so we can go get ice cream okay?" the taller one, Stiles, insists, only to be shushed by many nearby.

"Dude, I know I saw her. It’s not like I'm gonna go up and talk to her. I just wanna make sure she’s okay. You can go if you want," the other, Scott says, already moving towards a seat behind Allison. Derek groaned inwardly when Stiles failed to take his friend's advice, instead moving farther away from Scott, closer to the back. Closer to Derek and Jennifer.

Derek's luck proved to be nonexistent when Stiles' face stretched into a grin when he spotted the pair. He and Stiles noticed the empty seat next to Derek at the same time. Derek valiantly tried to claim the spot with his feet, only to have them pushed off by a cheerful Stiles.

"Fancy seeing you guys here, right? Though I am surprised by your choice in movie. I'm more a fan of action you know," the kid said, Derek growled slightly, making Jennifer jump but Stiles laugh. Several more people shushed him, but he ignored them in favor of listing his reasons why action is the best genre. Jen was still staring at the screen, incredibly interested in Sulley's speech. Derek rolled his eyes skyward. One man openly shouted at Stiles and when Stiles argued back, Derek tried desperately to sink into the cushioned seat . The kid's stubbornness attracts the attention of many, including Allison who noticed Scott, sparking another fight. An employee arrived minutes later and unsurprisingly Stiles, Scott, Allison and her date were kicked out.

However, the employee had mistaken Derek as Stiles' date and he was out on the street before he could even explain. Jennifer was still engrossed in whatever monologue and merely waved to Derek as he was escorted out. Once the five are outside, Allison and her date left quickly, Scott staring after them. Stiles, the shit, started laughing.

"Man, you should have seen your face," he said between giggles at Derek's raised eyebrows. Stiles contorted his own face into a gross exaggeration of Derek's. .

"Stiles," Scott whined, already anxious to follow Allison.

"Oh, all right buddy, but only because this guy put me in such a good mood," Stiles winked over at Derek, making the older man squint and jerk back, and then they're gone.

"What," Derek intoned to an empty street.

 

Derek was able to find Jen later that week, still wary of Stiles' random appearances around town. They agreed on dinner this time, but Derek wished they had gone to the Olive Garden outside of town when he sees their waiter.

"Ms. Blake, Sourwolf, can I start you off with something to drink? Perhaps Pepsi for Mr. Hale?" Stiles grinned behind his notepad, covered in stickers and scribbles.

"Oh! Stiles! Hello, yes, um, I would like iced tea, please," she smiled at him warmly and looked to Derek expectantly.

"What are you doing here," Derek growled at the kid, completely forgoing any courtesy.

"Down, boy. I had to get a job to pay for the Jeep. I was gonna take one at the library but I can see that this is a much better choice now," he smirked at Derek. Derek counted to ten. Jennifer was confused.

"Why is that?"

"Oh, you know, better pay," still smirking, “The customers are always friendly and leave _great_ tips, isn't that right, Derek?" Stiles pushed.

"I'll have water. Go," Derek forced out through clenched teeth.

They were talking about the new book Jen's assigned to the class when Stiles returned. He set the drinks down carefully, and stood back, looking proud. Derek couldn't help but say, "I'm amazed you haven't spilt anything yet."

He meant it as an insult, but Stiles only grinned wider and said, "Oh, you'd be surprised how good I am with my hands."

Derek did not choke on his water. He didn't.

"Now what can I get you guys?"

Stiles left with their orders and returned in record time, cutting off their conversation once again. He delicately placed Jen's meal in front of her, then somehow managed to slam Derek's plate into his water, spilling both into his lap. He stood abruptly, crashing into another waiter and ruined the back of his shirt, as well. He was sure this scene had happened in a horror movie or perhaps his worst nihtmare. Jen looked concerned and was halfway out of her chair, ready to bolt like Bambi. Stiles, though.

Stiles was on the floor laughing, gasping, and possibly crying, Derek was not sure because he was trying very hard not to stab the kid with his fork.

He counted to 20 this time.

He sat back down, though, ignoring the stares of his fellow patrons. He cleared his throat and began eating what's left of his meal. After a minute of gaping, Jen sat down as well. He smirked down at Stiles, knowing he won this one. Stiles was staring a little incredulously before he hauled himself up and stomped back into the kitchen.

They were discussing the importance of dogs when he heard the singing.

_"From the pasta we make_  
_To lasagna we bake_  
_Ba ba ba ba_  
_We're wishing you a happy birthday,"_

Derek groaned loudly. Jen squealed as six waiters surrounded the table.

_"We hope you will remember_  
_This fond event forever_  
_We're wishing you a happy birthday,"_

"Please stop," Derek tried over the singing. Stiles came out, holding chocolate cake and singing loudly and horribly off key.

_"It's like family and friends_  
_At the Olive Garden_  
_In the true Italiano way_  
_Hey! Hey!"_

"I will kill you in your sleep," Derek growled. A few members looked disturbed but continued singing.

_"So if you're looking for some fun_  
_Try Hospitaliano_  
_Have a happy, happy day_  
_Hey!"_

Everyone clapped and Jen smiled and cheered. Derek though he might cry.

"Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?" She badgered.

Stiles interrupted as he set the cake down, "Derek here rarely ever shares anything. Such a shame," before Derek could even begin to question what that meant, Stiles wrapped his hand around Derek's neck and pushed, smearing the cake all over the confused alpha's face. And, of course, he heard telltale swish of a camera shutter.

"But I doubt he'd mind sharing the cake. That's just a face for licking, am I right," Stiles said quickly and scurried off, grinning all the way. Jen giggled nervously as Derek slowly lowered his face back down into the cake.

 

After the Cake Incident, which still hasn't come out of his eyebrows, Derek refused to leave the loft for two days. He had 23 missed calls from Stiles and 2 from Jen. He wasn't sure what to make of that. He called Jen back eventually and they agreed to meet in the park on Saturday for a picnic. 

He set down the blanket and sandwiches when he spotted her wandering down the path. Jen smiled when she noticed him looking and he blushed. Stiles would have made fun of him. But he wasn't thinking about Stiles. He refused. Jen had brought slices of pie, "Because I know how you feel about cake," she laughed. It was nice. For once, he didn't have to worry. 

"Come on Isaac, hit me with your best shot," a voice shouted nearby, then broke off into song. Horribly off key. 

Derek tensed. Isaac had forgiven Derek about Boyd but was still wary around his alpha. He was the only one left in the pack, and he knew what Derek would have to do. Derek looked around and spotted his beta throwing a ball at a dancing Stiles while Scott laughed on the sidelines, chatting with Allison and Lydia. He abruptly interrupted Jen’s speech on Hemingway's flaws and suggested a walk around, away from the intruders. She agreed, albeit slightly suspiciously. 

They looped back around after some time which was when Derek began to regret everything that led to this moment. 

Lydia noticed them first and dragged Jen away, claiming she deserved a higher grade on her essay and was determined to prove her point by a PowerPoint on her phone. Derek was about to follow when Isaac callled him over. He ignored Derek's glower and told him to grab a stick; he's playing against Scott and Stiles. He mustered up enough courage to look at Stiles. The kid was already staring at him, hands straining on the lacrosse stick, grinning and ready to pounce.

He was a decent player when he was in school, and he figured with Stiles' lack of coordination and Scott's stubbornness, he and Isaac couldwin this easily.  
He realized 20 minutes later he had made a huge mistake.

Stiles was smooth and quick on the field, darting everywhere, distracting Derek while Scott scored again and again. Isaac finally called it quits and Derek sighed in relief, ready to steal Jen away again until someone jumped on his back. He relaxed marginally when he realized it was only Stiles but still tried to pry the idiot off. His ridiculous monkey limbs refused to let go of Derek, though.

"Ooh ice cream! Onward, alpha mine!" Stiles laughed right in his ear and tugged on his hair, pointing him in the direction of an ice cream shop. He sighed but marched forward, enduring Stiles’ crazed laughter. The group followed, commandeering a table to fit them all. Derek grabbed Jen and made a move to leave permanently when Stiles shouted at them to stay. Lydia's head snapped up and forced her teacher back down with the promise of intellectual conversation. Derek frowned back at the table as Jen sat between Lydia and Stiles. He huffed and wedged himself next to Scott and Isaac, glaring at Stiles who only returned a crinkly eyed smile. Derek forced his gaze back down when the kid began fervently licking his mint chocolate chip cone.

He felt a foot brush his leg and he glanced at aross the table at Jen who was smiling down at the table. He hid his own grin and pushed back, giving in for a few minutes before Stiles laughed loudly, breaking up the conversations. He was looking at Derek, flushed and bright-eyed.

"Your foot’s getting dangerously close to crotch city, pal," trying not to smile again. Derek's ears turned red and he desperately wished for the ground to swallow him whole. The table laughed and rolled their eyes. Jen looked genuinely amused, which made Derek wish for the alphas take pity and kill him then and there. He stood up suddenly.

"We have to pack up the picnic," he said a little manically. Jen looked at him, then back to Lydia and frowned.

"Nah, it's okay, you stay, Ms. Blake. I'll help Derek," Stiles offered and Derek briefly considered moving to Canada to escape this.

He accepted his fate, walking faster than usual to get to their spot but Stiles had long legs and was practically skipping to the blanket.

"So today was fun, we should do it again," Stiles told him.

"We?" Derek questioned, surprised by the suggestion and only slightly intrigued. Stiles turned to face him and replied, "Yeah, man. Us. I totally want a rematch in footsie, all right. You cheated."

"I don't think that's possible," Derek said. Stiles moved closer, squinting at Derek's face.

"Let's play frisbee, pup," Stiles said and ran off before Derek could control his blush or recognize the jab. He ended up packing the picnic by himself and when he found the group again, they actually were throwing the frisbee around. He was coerced into joining and found himself getting hit in the face. Repeatedly.

"Dammit Stiles, if you keep aiming for my face, it'll stop healing eventually," Derek growled. The offender slid over to scrutinize the wounds, placed both hands on either side of Derek's face and announced, "Derek has a booboo and I must kiss it better," and planted one on his nose. Jen laughed loudly with the others but didn't offer the same treatment.

At the end of the day, Derek left with his first lasting bruise on his nose and zero patience. He walked Jen back to her car and set up another date, already leaning in when he felt something hit his back and splash at his feet. He spun around, only to catch Stiles and Scott running toward him with a bucket full of water balloons. Jen scrambled in her car, waved frantically and drove off. Derek was left to be hit by a constant stream of water and latex. When the perpetrators ran out of the weapons, Derek shook himself and slowly looked at the two. Dropping the bucket, they ran back to the park and Derek smirked, knowing he still had the upper hand.

Then Derek saw his car was filled with ping pong balls.

There was a note on the windshield.

_Hope you like my balls!_  
_Love,_  
_Stiles_

 

"YES! SUCK IT! I'M AWESOME. IT'S THE TRUTH, IT'S ACTUAL, EVERYTHING IS SATISFACTUAL," Derek rolled his eyes when he heard the familiar tone-deaf voice ring through the bowling alley.

Jen was concentrating on her technique, analyzing the game, having not moved for exactly six minutes and 23 seconds. Derek turned around to see Stiles dancing around his friends. Derek knew it was bad when he realized how much he wanted to join them. He looked back to Jen, still eyeing the lane, when he decided to head for the snack bar. He nonchalantly surveyed the options while side eyeing the other team, hoping one of them noticed him first.

They did.

Isaac shouted his name and when he looked back, they're all watching him with varying expressions. Isaac seemed pleased, Lydia was bored, Allison and Scott still wary, but Stiles. Stiles looked like a kid on Christmas morning. He was flushed and beaming up at Derek, making Derek _feel_ things. He was confused but undoubtedly, inexplicably _happy._ He headed over to their game to see Lydia was winning by a landslide while Stiles was dead last but still hopelessly optimistic. The kid was still staring at Derek a little too obviously but he wasn't doing anything to stop it either. Then Jen appeared and greeted the kids. She suggested they split teams and play together on the next game. Scott stayed with Allison, Lydia and Isaac, leaving Stiles with him and Jen.

The kid was overwhelmingly pleased about this change, especially when Jen excused herself to the bathroom. Stiles goaded him into helping his game, forcing Derek to wrap his arms around the kid to show Stiles the correct swing. He could practically feel the idiot vibrating in his skin and the grin against his cheek was splitting Stiles' face. Derek couldn't help but nose at the soft skin under his ear, causing to Stiles drop the ball in shock. On Derek's foot.

Stiles' hands shot up to cover his mouth from laughing and ran off. Derek groaned, mostly from the pain. Suddenly, Jen's back, asking if she had missed anything.

Derek groaned again.

Throughout the night, Stiles managed to drop his pizza on Derek, hit Derek in the face with his shoe while demonstrating how to properly do the CanCan, got _Derek_ in trouble for trying to throw the ball overhand, told Jen many countless lies about werewolves including how Derek was born a puppy, knots are real and Derek had a schedule for his special gloom and doom time. He also dropped another two balls on Derek's feet "accidentally".

"But I thought you liked balls, Derek," Stiles said sweetly the third time it happened.

When they drove home, Jen surprised him.

"I met someone and um. He really gets me. He actually likes animated movies and shares my love for kitten calendars," she said morosely, "I'm really sorry. You're a great guy. Well. You know, you're kind of emotionally unattached and have trust issues and you resent all things happy. But, you know. You were nice sometimes," she smiled, nodded and got out of the car.

He stared at the apartment complex, then at the steering wheel. Then he smiles. Huh.

 

+1  
Stiles wasat Six Flags. With Danny. DANNY. And he was having fun. He was, he just hoped he wasn't missing a chance to embarrass Derek on one of his dates.

"Hey, isn't that Miguel?" The question snapped him out of his reverie and he furrowed his brow at Danny who pointed to the man in question, wearing classic leather and a...smile?

"He seems happy for once," Danny saidcheerfully, "Should we go say hi?"

Stiles shook his head jerkily and flailed in front of Danny to stop him, "No! He, um. He's on a date! We can't interrupt!" Danny rolled his eyes and pushed past a whining Stiles. Derek met them halfway there, stopping in front of the chair swing. Stiles stood behind Danny, making wide eyes and wild gestures which Derek ungraciously ignored in favor of greeting and hugging the pair. Which, what? Derek was a hugger? 

Then Derek started talking about things like werewolves and Miguel and boyfriends and what? Danny, who took the news gallantly, said, “I mean, I knew the cousin thing was weird but Jackson told me about werewolves when he left. Where have you guys been," and left with a dashing smile and dimples.

"Well that changes things. Now come on, where's Ms. Blake? I need to make you throw up at least twice on a rollercoaster," Stiles looked around, spotting many frazzled women, but not the particular teacher.

"I thought you wanted to try footsie again," Derek responded, grabbing Stiles' twitching shoulders and grounding him, "And she met someone named Finstock? I don’t know, but she's happy."

Stiles opened and closed his mouth. He stared at the ground, then at Derek. He shouted to the random passerby, "OH MY GOD," and looked at Derek again.

"So this is you ruining my date. As payback," Stiles guessed when they sat down at the small diner later, having failed in his rollercoaster mission. He had also attempted to stab Derek with balloon darts, run him off the tracks in Go Karts and mortify Derek with obscene comments on the carousel, "Well as far as ruined dates go, this is definitely the tamest one. And I thank you, kind sir," he said as he stole a sip from Derek's milkshake.

"Oh, I haven't finished yet," Derek grinned as he knocked the milkshake into Stiles' lap.

There are many times in Derek's life when something bad happens. Today is not that day.

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimers etc etc  
> thanks to Olive Garden for thorough embarrassment but a great song  
> title from Breathe by Pink Floyd
> 
> talk to me on [tumblr](http://becauseimclever-.tumblr.com/) because of reasons


End file.
